Dear Santa
I was very sad to hear you‘ll have to work from home this year
so I wanted to offer assistance with the business of christmas
and the dedicated care of your reindeer.
I‘m willing to move to the Winterwonderland as well
– for a time, you understand, until all is well again.
But then, I could offer another option too,
and, with a mask, dress up as you
to carry out your mission of bringing the reindeer in position, and, listening to the children wishing, get their presents and deliver these acquisitions
leaving you behind, singing „Driving Home for Christmas“, reminiscing.
Don‘t worry, I won‘t steal your life or Mistletoes
it‘s just that seeing your age, you seem a little too –
well, let‘s say fragile, and quite ancient to be frank,
to drive through a pandemic and get infected in the end…
You see, I‘m quite willing to tour the world alone,
because All I Want For Christmas Is You staying home.
(and, admittedly, to spend some much needed time on my own.)
So Santa, Baby, please be kind,
accept this job application and keep in mind
rejecting me is not done lightly, my friends and I are kind of flighty with our moods…
So We Three Kings might just decide that we are gonna bring a better world upon us
without you.
Now, I expect you‘ll consider my application
and approve it, due to my extraordinary dedication to your business –
let‘s hope this will not be your Last Christmas.